A Boyfriend For Christmas

The title of this one should have just sent me running for the hills, but I gave it a shot nonetheless. I was NOT rewarded. Plain jane Kelli Williams (The Practice) stars as a non-profit civil rights attorney (or something) who's been given a Christmas gift of a temporary "boyfriend" when Patrick Muldoon (from I have no idea) shows up at her house to deliver a Christmas tree and announces he's hers for the day. Thinking her friend has set this up, she goes along with it, trotting him around her family so they'll stop bugging her about her single status, dismissing any implication of male prostitution this may infer. Take a wild guess what happens to them next. There's not much Christmas about this; pretty much the only tie-in with the holiday is the tree lot Santa Claus played by Charles Durning, who like in hundreds of these things, is implied to be the real one (he's actually the one who sent Muldoon). Despite being known mostly for tough, grizzled and creepy characters, Durning actually makes a great Santa. But half the movie takes place after Christmas, so the damn season is over before your first bathroom break. What the hell's the point? All that's left is an irritating plot about an ex-boyfriend and the inevitable sexual tension. The best thing I can say about this is I noticed it came out in 2004, meaning it was transferred from SD to HD seamlessly. Or maybe I was too preoccupied with checking my texts to notice. And who the hell cares? Nausea factor high. Christmas factor low. MSG middle finger.